Lonely Me

Can I escape you?

I really want to.

I want to build a rocket ship

Send my heart to Mars

Let my emotions live among the stars

Fuck these feelings they drown me anyway

Fuck this weak shit I’m stronger everyday

Fuck this mindset where being friends is ok

Fuck this lust, fuck these lies

Fuck that fantasy touch of your hand on my thighs

Fuck that kiss

Fuck feeling like this

Fuck you

Fuck ME wishing

You

Would….

Touch me.

Fuck being deep and writing poetry

Fuck everything that was

Or could never be

Fuck a being a girl and all dramatic

Fuck drinking to be calm

Only to become erratic

Fuck butterflies and cautious smiles

Fuck distance and fuck the miles

Fuck the heart they say grows fonder

But it seems they make some wander

But fuck exploration

Fuck limitations

Fuck your monogamy

But that’s wrong

Right

So basically all this time was

a giant FUCK YOU

To lonely ME

Pen to Paper

 

Putting pen to paper

The only way to savor

This feeling

To hold on to this dream

 

Fingers stained with ink

Makeup smeared

With tears

Heart broke

Well not whole

As I sit and long for home

 

Tired of waiting for mountains to move

Waiting for clouds to shift

Waiting for something other than this shit

 

Putting pen to paper

Because I’ll look crazy

In the bar

If I just scream

But I’m sure the patrons

Can clearly see in busting at the seams

 

Filled with anger, hope and fear

Praying daily for a way out of  here

Basically begging but feel think my requests

Just hit deaf ears

 

Slamming pen into paper

Paper rips

Not strong enough to handle this

Contain My rage

But I am

This time is temporary

This life is not my cage

 

I am free

Meant to fly

Meant to soar

Show this world I am so much more

 

More than your ideas

For my delicate frame

I plan to leave a legacy behind

You’ll remember my name

The Revolution

The Revolution will NOT be
Televised
But Advertised
And Capitalized

The media will manipulate
Dissipate
Separate
The masses

Ignoring conscience minds
And promoting Jack Asses

The Revolution will be
Televised
But not thru
The freedom fighters eyes

Told through the naysayers
Dream takers
Money makers
The ones who control
The bottom line
Financially

Out spending
Out spinning
Stories
Weaving webs
Tangled Lies
While ignoring
Victims cries

The Revolution will be
Criticized

Some will Stand
Against injustice
Some will kneel
On sidelines.

All will be judged
While Judges
Care more about color
Than the heinous crimes

The Revolution will be
Bastardized
Scrutinized
And Plagiarized

The soundtrack will be laced with screams
Babies crying from father’s death scenes
Beats provided by shattered bones
Melody the distinct sound of cries and moans

The Revolution will be
Jeopardized
By smear campaigns
Politicians making claims
Bolstering themselves
While shaming
Protesters names

Hero’s being fired
For letting people LIVE
While 13 year olds
don’t get a chance to
And they ask us to forgive

The Revolution will be
Sensationalized
Dramatized
And Compromised

Weak minds
Will fall behind
Planted smile of their face
While ignoring the situations
Denying
Humanity’s Disgrace.

The Revolution will be
Despised
And Socialized

Many will speak
Many will tweet
And those too loud to be ignored
May themselves too close to deaths door

Opposite views their only reason
To kill a man and call it treason
All while defending your 2nd amendment right
Forgetting the 1st gives us the right to fight

The Revolution will NOT
Be Colorized
It will NOT Apologize

There will be no shame
All shades will stand together
Injustice is not a game

Weak punishments for raping Women
Think its ok to mace our Children
Kill our Men
Then question our Pride
In being American

To stand with a country
That won’t stand for you
To be proud of a nation
That ignores what it’s
People are going thru

This is just the beginning
If we don’t stand this may be our ending
It will take time to find answers
To find a solution
That time is now
And it starts with
The Revolution

Have Several Seats

I moved to Alpharetta/Roswell, a predominantly white suburb of Atlanta, at a very young age from the predominantly black neighborhoods in Philadelphia and New York.
In Philadelphia, I attended Catholic school with many races but when I got off the bus I was surrounded by people who looked like me.

When my family moved to NY, I attended my first public school. And honestly I don’t remember seeing someone that wasn’t a minority in my neighborhood or school. Except ME. I was bullied on a daily basis for many reasons. It could have been because I spoke differently, was it because I dressed differently. Either way, whatever the reason, it changed me. I was no longer that sweet innocent girl who thought she was going to marry Michael Jackson. (Happy Birthday MJ RIP)

When I got to GA I was an angry 10 year old and now I was one of 3 black people in a class in a school that had less than 100 of us.

I was smaller than most, younger than most but my attitude was bigger than them all. I got in my share of fights with kids who just wanted touch my hair. Or the reverse because sometimes I wanted to touch theirs. This was the time when boys and girls discovered each other. But no one discovered me. I wasn’t invisible but I wasn’t desirable. But that is another story for another blog at another time….tune in.

This is about when 10 year old me decided to take a stand.
I remember refusing to stand for the pledge in   class. I remember the school calling my mother telling them I was a distraction, I was insubordinate. Luckily, this was one of the battles my mother chose to be on my side.
Honestly what did 10 year old me know about injustice, I don’t know the statement I was trying to make. If one at all. I was probably just seeking attention, being a rebel, or just didn’t feel like standing up. Either way it was my 10 year old right to sit and not pledge my allegiance to something I didn’t believe in at the time.
Something I’m still trying to figure out why I should believe in now.

All that to say I stand with Colin Kaepernick.

We are so upset of a grown man who has done no harm to others by just peacefully sitting in order to shed light on the MANY MANY injustices the black community is facing.
So many changes have been made in history when people just chose to have a seat.

So have several seats America!

Insecurity 

 



Insecurity 

Is not a minority 

We all feel
The fear of the fall
Not rising above them all

 Being judged 
Hated
 Mis-created 
Into their image
Losing one
Damaging self
Just to gain the fame
Earn the wealth

 To you I say fuck the fame
Make your way
Keep your name
Build your image
Stand in pride
Because in the end 
Only the strong survive 

 Haha
That was so cliche 
Bullshit in every way 
Insecurity
Occurs everyday
It lives inside us
Festers 
Til it takes away
The will to live
To forgive
To trust 
OR obey

 Insecurity 
It's never been a
Minority 
It's the only Majority
And it rules the world
Everyday.

 

Conture

​We use the book 

As a diary

The face as a dowry 

Facade 

Conture 

Endure

Pain

Play the game 

Never the same 

But who’s to blame

The media

The magazines

Drama kings

Beauty Queens

 Dancing Divas

Reality Screamers

Or is it your self esteem

It’s called esteem of self

Find your worth

Is there change left

Strive to do more

Achieve to go higher

Fuck comparisons

Brush off the liars

Always be you

Unless you can be a unicorn 

Always be you

and know you deserve more.
Xyz.

Enough

Black Lives Matter

Or should I be more concerned if my ass could be fatter

I mean really people care more about the latter

Black folks being gunned down is just titter tatter

Basically its much ado about nothing

Politicians spit talking points just frontin’

While we stress and protest

Lucky to be alive, We are blessed

They are video tapped even confess

They get off while we are killed

again and again in the press

We die twice because of mistakes in the past

I am alive now but how long will that last

Black Lives Matter

I mean I could do squats to make my ass fatter

Become an IG model sexy as can be

But what does that do when the police stop me

I have a criminal history

Made mistakes, lessons learned

But in the end is a bullet all I’ve earned

Black Lives Matter

We shout that everyday

We protest peacefully

But more lives are taken away

Black Lives Matter 

When will it be ENOUGH

For ALL LIVES to see

Put aside your pride

Stand with HUMANITY

BLACK LIVES MATTER

As do white, brown, purple

And BLUE 

Healing will begin

when we are no longer 

The Bad Guy 

To just point and shoot 

BLACK LIVES MATTER

I am

You can hate me but you’ll never forsake me
They can take this whole thing down
Burn it all to the ground
Kingdom come
His will be done
What is meant will never be undone
I have faith without fear
So when I step trumpets you hear.
Sounds of his choir
With shots I fire
Truth without pain
Living and loving again

Peace within my heart
Know he has my step from the start
I’ll say it and say it again
I’m am blessed by God amen.

Do not play small

Do not play small

Do not fade into the background
Do not become a shadow
Stand your ground
You were meant to shine
Therefore you should
Don’t disappear
Because others wish you would
Do not play small
Remember stand tall
Let their fear be their fall
Be intimidating
Be secure
Be who you are
Be sure
You were not meant to hide
You were not meant to hide
You were not meant to hide.